Through tears, Anne whispered those three words to me tonight. 

She of course referring to chemo, cancer, the whole shebang.  

Today Anne started a 6-day steroid treatment to cure the “Taxol rash” she’s developed  since her first chemo treatment last Tuesday. If you’ve ever been put on a doctor-prescribed steroid regimen – or worse, your kids have – you know it makes you feel wired, antsy, strung-out, and irritable. (Kids often turn into spawns of satan).  And you don’t sleep.  So for Anne, who is already exhausted, she feels like she’s pulled an all-nighter, run a marathon, and imbibed 14 cups of coffee. 

And that’s just the steroids. 

Here’s a glimpse of what the first post-chemo week has looked like for Anne. 

C-Day: Nine hours at the Duke Cancer Center. Long day. Got her PaTCH drugs. Ninjas unleashed. 

Day 1-2: Tired but not feeling all that terrible. 

Day 3-5: Completely run over by a train. So little energy that she had to rest after walking across the room. “Like lead” (see previous post). 

Day 6-7: starting to rebound, but still tired. Tingly fingers. Itchy. Body still feels off, but feeling a bit more herself. 

Knowing she was fatigued, I asked Anne if she had written anything she wanted me to share with you. She mentioned she had written an email to some friends and said “feel free to share. I’m too tired to edit and post.”

Below is what I copied and pasted from her email. I sure admire her courage, her honesty.  What a trooper. Cancer sucks. 

I am feeling more human. Feeling hit by a truck has diminished to more like being run over by a bike. Great blood count report today (my hemoglobin actually improved from before chemo—what???) and overall good check up with doc. She gave me several high fives in celebration that I weathered first round without any major, unusual incidents.  I have a new arsenal of meds (things like Claritin and Zantac) to help with some side effects for next round. They apparently have a pretty good solution for almost every side effect. Just gotta figure out what the need is for each person. I have to go on a hefty round of steroids to combat a rash from the taxol chemical…and the bummer is my sleep will be impacted. Gotta get rash under control before next round. Specifics to pray for there.

I’ve been sad about my hair the last couple of days. Just about a week left until that crazy side effect becomes a reality. No matter which way you slice it, it just stinks. Sarah sweetly stroked my head this morning and assured me she would still love me without my hair AND God would bring it back. Five year olds can say it so perfectly.  

Kids are doing ok! They snuggled a lot with me while I was in bed a good deal the last four days. Our talks have covered everything from Luke’s birthday wish list to how wonderful it will be when all things are made new and no one gets sick anymore. Priceless.  

Day at a time, learning more about the friendship of Jesus as I walk through some shadows and rejoicing they are only shadows…

Now for our Fletcher highlight…

We just had new artificial turf installed in our little urban backyard. Sarah modeled it this afternoon while we laid down on it together. It looks and feels like grass. Okay, maybe even a little better.