Chemo round #1…check.  Boy am I glad this first round is done because, well, that’s one round I won’t have to do again!  I sure welcome these feeling-ok-days. Fatigue is the main battle now.  These ninjas are powerful little warriors and doing their job quite well.  There is certainly evidence.

The bodily suffering inherent to cancer has gotten a lot of air time.  Going through treatment (and all its subsequent side effects) is, after all, a very physical experience.  And it’s hard.  Right alongside this physical hardship is my heart, which is just as active as ever.  My experience of this road is as much – if not more – about the turf of my heart.  THE Warrior is steadily at work faithfully refining it.  I’m on the lookout for evidence there, too.

Sara Groves, yet another coffee-date-in-heaven wish (though she is still very much alive!), sings: “From this one place I can’t see very far.  From this one moment I’m square in the dark.  These are the things I will trust in my heart – You can see something else.  Something else.”

When it’s hard – body’s sick and hurting, fears welling up with uncertainties – it’s a fight to see beyond it.  And the amazing grace is this, I don’t have to.  Jesus is not beyond the hard.  He’s in it.  Right smack dab in the middle of it all with me.  The Forerunner has been there, done that, and more.  He delights to be near, in my mess, gripping me, giving his strength as I am weak.  And that’s true with or without cancer.

I’ve come up for a breath for a few days before my next ninja reinforcements on June 30th.  While on long bear hunts (previous post), the feel-better-days are precious.  My daily agenda is bare-bones simple…time to read and pray, play with the kids, walk the dog, walk barefoot on our fake grass (it really is so cool), rest, eat the bounty of food our community is providing, soak in quiet evening moments with Van after the little people are tucked into bed.  I have my eyes peeled to catch glimpses of the “something else” God is wisely orchestrating in and beyond the hard.

Now, brace yourselves.  Let me show you something spectacular.

This may appear to be just a basket full of cards and presents.  No, no!  You are looking at a basket of glory.  Thanks to the creative force (and love) of my dear friend, Manning, I have a basket of glory sitting in my living room.  Friends from near and far, friends new, old, and some I have yet to meet, have lavished on me daily reminders of a Person, Jesus, who is in this hard stuff with me and the goal of it all.  (1 Peter 1:6-7).  The hope of the end of this Story has made its way into a basket in my house.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.  Hebrews 10:23-25.