When Van and I moved to Philadelphia in 2002, we decided that a proper initiation into the City of Brotherly Love meant reenacting the famous scene from Rocky in which Sylvester Stalone sprints up the steps of the Art Museum. I know what you are thinking: what a novel, unique idea, right?!

At the top of that grand stairway sat a bronze statue of Rocky with arms held high in victory. Once we caught our breath, we snapped a photo with the iconic figure, then spent the next several Friday nights watching all 17 Rocky films.

Cue the theme song to Rocky.

Today I’m stepping into the ring for my last chemo round. LAST round. My boxing gloves are laced. I’m punching the air with my opponent in sight. Dancing around the ring. Deep breath through my (pink) mouth guard. Pep talks from loved ones in my corner.

Did I mention it is the LAST round? (Music now changes to Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus.)

Rocky Balboa isn’t known for his eloquence, but he had a handful of memorable lines. One that particularly resonates: “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.”

Looking back across the traveled terrain of the last four months, I see lots of rocky, dusty, difficult stretches. Dotting the landscape are piles of stones, visible reminders of how my Heavenly Father was with me. Every step. That gives me courage to endure what lies ahead.

Ahead…

Scans are Thursday, October 1st. How I long to hear the word “clear”! Bilateral mastectomy mid-October. Then daily radiation soon after, for 5-6 weeks. Followed by infusions of Herceptin, a hormonal therapy, which will continue until next June. Lastly, reconstruction surgery mid-summer. The hard-hitting treatments will be finished by this Christmas! Hair sprouting on my noggin will be a welcome Christmas gift. Sarah even said she would give me some new hair bows for my new hair. I’ll share the photos, don’t you worry.

As this last round of ninja medicine and body scans approach, fear is starting to pump up the volume in my heart. I needed C.S. Lewis’ encouragement yesterday…

“The great thing with unhappy times is to take them hit by hit, hour by hour, like an illness. It is seldom the present, the exact present, that is unbearable.”

Jesus taught us to pray for daily bread. Battling cancer is a grand lesson in this. If I get too far ahead on roads unknown, daily bread doesn’t seem to cut it. In those moments, I’m existing in an imagined life with a small God. Living in the exact present is hard work at times…

“He who did not spare us his own Son, but gave him up for us all–how will he not also, along with him, give us all things?…For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:32, 35-39)

Past, present, and future grace summed up right there.  God has given his children a Kingdom that can never perish, spoil, or fade. He has given us Himself.  He is with us.  We know how this grand story ends…all sunshine, rainbows, and so much more.  Sooooo much more!  All because of the perfect sacrifice of Jesus.

My present fear just got swallowed in love. Cue Amazing Grace.

Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believ’d!

Thro’ many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;
‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis’d good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace