We’re wrapping up week two of the new Navelbine treatment for Anne.  She’s enduring with a tough-minded determination. 

The drugs’ side effects have manifested in fatigue, tingly hands, nausea and loss of appetite. Like how I felt immediately after riding the tilt-a-whirl twice with my boys at this year’s State Fair. Except worse. And hers doesn’t go away. So nevermind. 

For the first time since Anne’s treatment started in Early June, I’m under the weather. Don’t you worry – I’m seeking no pity.  Feeling bleh has given me a fresh glimpse into Anne’s daily fight. 

When I don’t feel good, everything feels harder. I “will” things a lot more.  Pouring a glass of water for a child. Taking out the trash. Making phone calls. Listening.  Being enthusiastic. 

I find it especially difficult not to let how I physically feel affect me emotionally. When I feel yucky, durn it if I don’t find myself fighting off feelings of hopelessness and despair, even though nothing externally has changed.  I feel like my sick body forms a dark cloud over my heart. 

Which brings me back to Anne. My little virus will run its course for a few days, and then I’ll be back in shape. Not Anne. Six months of feeling like crud, and many more ahead. It really hit me today: being sick has served as a fresh reminder that Anne’s cancer fight isn’t just physical. It’s mental. Emotional. Spiritual. 

Many of you reading this have endured suffering. Cancer. Loss of a loved one. Failure. Abuse. An ailment that persists. You can relate to the daily battle to “keep it together.”  It’s so stinking hard. 

So Annie – and fellow sufferers – here’s a tribute to you for ploughing ahead. Pushing through the tears. Clinging to hope. Asking for help. Embracing the reality of your hardship. Refusing to give up. Doing the next thing. Believing there’s divine purpose even though you can’t see it. Loving others in your weakness. And relying on God’s grace, daily. 

It’s a long road, Annie. I marvel at how well you are doing. Keep it up love. I’m with you. We’re with you.