I’m docked in the waiting room of the surgery center where Anne will be having a port installed?/inserted?/rigged?/placed? Sheesh. I’m still figuring out the terminology required to navigate the straits of cancer for my bride.
By way of yours truly, several of you who have survived cancer sent Anne sweet notes of cheer in which you mention how great the port is, how it will be her best friend, how much she will love it, and so forth.
Okay, do whaaaaat?
My knee-jerk, gut response to your ‘pep talks’ was: “What is wrong with you people?! How in the h-e-double-hockeysticks is that supposed to be comforting?!” It’s funny how strangely I process new information in the midst of a 100 things flying at me.
Needing to stay on task, I stuck (pun intended) this whole “snuggle with your port” business on a shelf until I picked up Anne for her port-placement surgery.
And she graciously explained…
You get stuck A LOT along the cancer treatment road. IVs, shots, blood drawn, you name it. Therein lies the beauty and mercy of the port. Easy access, convenient, and pain-free.
Just now I was sharing my blog post with her, and she laughed. And then she welled up with tears, IV already in her, and said “that port is like a little badge of mercy.”
Hence the title of my post.
And why I love my wife.
facing the thief 
Dearest Anne and Van,
I’ve started to write on numerous occasions. But have resorted to prayer while I process my frustration with the Lord in allowing you to have this cancer..
I don’t want to say anything that makes your journey harder: because it stinks in so many ways. Yes , Johnny and I are at a place where we can truly thank God for his journey and what it has done in the our lives and the lives of our children. but it took me a long time to get there. He arrived sooner than I.
I do hope Johnny’s journey is an encouragement to you because statistically he should not have been with us these last 3 1/2 years. 5 years from diagnosis. We don’t know why the Lord has graciously given Johnny such a miraculous five-year run with no more pancreatic cancer cells except to maybe be an encouragement to norther cancer patients.
We join you in prayer as you travel this world of cancer… Praying for all cancer cells to be eradicated and that they never ever return.
We have no words of advice other than to encourage you to stay in prayer together every day which I know you will be doing anyway.
Thank you for sharing this journey with others from both you and Van in your blog. Selfishly, I feel I’m getting accurate information and knowing how to pray specifically.
We love you both and those sweet children so very very much.
Know we are asking Him for His grace and mercy by keeping you with us all here on earth for many many years!
Love,
Genie and for Johnny.
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They won’t give me a port yet so I understand the Badge of Mercy. Big hugs for Anne from another human pincushion.
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